The Vatican Rag revisited

I remember when this Tom Lehrer song first made the rounds in the mid-60s:



Every Catholic that I knew absolutely loved it, despite its irreverence. Perhaps the timing was what made it so popular, in that Lehrer's album coincided with the Vatican II Council.

Now that my diocese is engaged in spirited fights based upon garbage viral emails and arguing about whether or not to compel people to kneel rather than stand at eucharist, perhaps the best use I can make of this space today is to encourage a bit of humility by looking at how silly we often seem to those not of our communion.

First you get down on your knees
Fiddle with your rosaries
Bow your head with great respect
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect

Do whatever steps you want if
You have cleared them with the Pontiff
Everybody say his own kyrie eleison
Doin' the Vatican Rag

Get in line in that processional
Step into that small confessional
There, the guy who's got religion'll
Tell you if your sin's original

If it is, try playin' it safer
Drink the wine and chew the wafer
Two, four, six, eight
Time to transubstantiate

So get down upon your knees
Fiddle with your rosaries
Bow your head with great respect
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect

Make a cross on your abdomen
When in Rome do like a Roman
Ave Maria, gee it's good to see ya
Gettin' ecstatic an' sorta dramatic an'
Doin' the Vatican Rag